Yesterday, we picked up Bram from school because we still needed to pay for his uniforms. I picked him up from the classroom, and we walked to the main office to pay at the front desk. The "external relations director" for the school asked me how Bram was doing and if he was enjoying his new school.
It is a common question lately, since he just switched out of a Spanish only system into the bilingual system of this school. It's a loaded question in its response though. Bram is doing amazingly better. He talks about school, his new friends, the stories he's learning, what he ate for lunch, etc. For the first time in 6 months, he is excited about going to school, not simply enduring. And he's actually using Spanish words in context, beyond 'commands'. Tonight he told me he makes lots of sudsy bubbles with his 'javon' (soap).
I think the major difference is the switch from "survival mode" to a comfort range that facilitates learning. In the previous school, Bram never really talked about what they were doing each day perhaps because he was never sure. He was just trying to make sure he didn't get left behind. (I think that given a longer time in the previous system, Bram would have adapted and learned the language well enough to enjoy. It just would have taken time.)
My major lesson in all of this school drama: It's amazing the difference in our personality when we're comfortable. Things that make us nervous and cause us to be unsure put us into an instinctual survival mode. We don't think or enjoy or experience, we simply survive. But when we find ourselves in a place where we can be at emotional rest, so to speak, we can begin to see the whole picture, put things to work, we can enjoy.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
Showing posts with label day care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label day care. Show all posts
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Monday, 5 January 2009
Serious Mommy Issues
Bramwell, my 3 year old, starts school on Wednesday. You read that right, school. Not day care, but school. When we assessed our family situation in regards to overseas ministry we never thought that we'd have to even think about school until possibly a second term (you sign up in 3 year increments).
So it was a "mad dash", well, not exactly mad dash...anyways, we spent the first couple of months trying to sort out the school situation for Bramwell. We looked into local "escuelas de infancia", basically "baby schools". They're not quite school, but they do actual lessons, etc. We thought it would be the best option in order for the boys to learn operating Spanish so they could join school. Nearly everyone I approached told me Bram was too old for their program, and they couldn't take him.
So, we tried local schools. There is a private school taught by the local Spanish Baptist church, but they have a 3-5 year waiting list. (The "Missionary Card" didn't even help bump us up...) I then opted to look into local public school, but everything is taught in the local language of Valenciano. A language I don't understand at all. So if there were to be a problem at school?? He needed help with his homework?? I couldn't even get pamphlets about their programs in Spanish (even though it's the law!)...back to square one.
So then we heard about a private Spanish school system in the next town over. They are a British run school that teaches a Spanish cirriculuum. Bram will begin there on Wednesday! He'll be taught in both Spanish and English, with Valenciano language classes in the upper grades. He goes for a full day, wears an absolutely adorable uniform (there's a tie and everything), and rides a coach bus. I'm still nervous about the bus...I can tell that the teachers at the school hear the same nervous questions from every mother, they're answers are very rehearsed...
And now, it's down to the wire, the last day and a half that I have Bramwell the majority of the day. Honestly, it's liberating in a sense, but at the same time heart wrenching. My baby boy isn't a baby anymore. He's entering the world of school....away from me....with new friends I may never know............I'm scared.......
So it was a "mad dash", well, not exactly mad dash...anyways, we spent the first couple of months trying to sort out the school situation for Bramwell. We looked into local "escuelas de infancia", basically "baby schools". They're not quite school, but they do actual lessons, etc. We thought it would be the best option in order for the boys to learn operating Spanish so they could join school. Nearly everyone I approached told me Bram was too old for their program, and they couldn't take him.
So, we tried local schools. There is a private school taught by the local Spanish Baptist church, but they have a 3-5 year waiting list. (The "Missionary Card" didn't even help bump us up...) I then opted to look into local public school, but everything is taught in the local language of Valenciano. A language I don't understand at all. So if there were to be a problem at school?? He needed help with his homework?? I couldn't even get pamphlets about their programs in Spanish (even though it's the law!)...back to square one.
So then we heard about a private Spanish school system in the next town over. They are a British run school that teaches a Spanish cirriculuum. Bram will begin there on Wednesday! He'll be taught in both Spanish and English, with Valenciano language classes in the upper grades. He goes for a full day, wears an absolutely adorable uniform (there's a tie and everything), and rides a coach bus. I'm still nervous about the bus...I can tell that the teachers at the school hear the same nervous questions from every mother, they're answers are very rehearsed...
And now, it's down to the wire, the last day and a half that I have Bramwell the majority of the day. Honestly, it's liberating in a sense, but at the same time heart wrenching. My baby boy isn't a baby anymore. He's entering the world of school....away from me....with new friends I may never know............I'm scared.......
Friday, 26 September 2008
Mommies....
Some women are blessed with the gift of being 'stay at home mothers'. They have the choice of staying at home, have been given the Divine token of patience, and have chosen to be at home with their little ones.
It's usually when I consider these women, and the women who want to stay home but can't financially afford it, that I begin to feel a little inadequate in my mothering. I could stay home. There is no "rule" that says I have to go into the office, I could fulfill the majority of my 'requirements' from the computer at home. Though I have learned that the days I do stay home with the boys, it is nearly, strike that, it is impossible for me to get anything done beyond playing with the boys and making sure they don't destroy themselves or our belongings. Throw in the time it requires to change diapers, wipe noses, make snacks, and you've got a full day. (I'm very sure there are some women reading this and saying "And, your point is??")
The boys have been in day care all week this week, and I have been feeling a mixture of relief and guilt over the whole situation. They are struggling a bit with the language/culture issue. (Jonas won't respond to the Spanish pronounciation of his name. And Bram tells me every day "I don't speak Spanish.") I feel guilty for putting them in a place where only one girl speaks a few phrases in English. But I feel relieved in the sense that I have a chance to get involved in the daily operations of the church.
I have felt like a more patient mommy and a more attentive mommy this week. But I continue to rationalize the guilt: They only go from 8:30 to 1:30 (typical Spanish work hours), so they're not even in there the whole day. Bram needs to learn Spanish in order to start school next year. Jonas has been cutting teeth so that's why he's been cranky with the day care ladies....etc, etc, etc.
I don't presume that I'm the only one capable of taking care of my boys during the day. And I think it's good for them to be around other children, something of which there is not a lot of in our church (yet). I know that this transition phase for them shall pass, and they'll probably grow to love it, but it's still hard not to feel like a terrible parent when you leave a crying 2 year old behind in the care of another....
It's usually when I consider these women, and the women who want to stay home but can't financially afford it, that I begin to feel a little inadequate in my mothering. I could stay home. There is no "rule" that says I have to go into the office, I could fulfill the majority of my 'requirements' from the computer at home. Though I have learned that the days I do stay home with the boys, it is nearly, strike that, it is impossible for me to get anything done beyond playing with the boys and making sure they don't destroy themselves or our belongings. Throw in the time it requires to change diapers, wipe noses, make snacks, and you've got a full day. (I'm very sure there are some women reading this and saying "And, your point is??")
The boys have been in day care all week this week, and I have been feeling a mixture of relief and guilt over the whole situation. They are struggling a bit with the language/culture issue. (Jonas won't respond to the Spanish pronounciation of his name. And Bram tells me every day "I don't speak Spanish.") I feel guilty for putting them in a place where only one girl speaks a few phrases in English. But I feel relieved in the sense that I have a chance to get involved in the daily operations of the church.
I have felt like a more patient mommy and a more attentive mommy this week. But I continue to rationalize the guilt: They only go from 8:30 to 1:30 (typical Spanish work hours), so they're not even in there the whole day. Bram needs to learn Spanish in order to start school next year. Jonas has been cutting teeth so that's why he's been cranky with the day care ladies....etc, etc, etc.
I don't presume that I'm the only one capable of taking care of my boys during the day. And I think it's good for them to be around other children, something of which there is not a lot of in our church (yet). I know that this transition phase for them shall pass, and they'll probably grow to love it, but it's still hard not to feel like a terrible parent when you leave a crying 2 year old behind in the care of another....
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
The rain in Spain stays mainly in...
No, no it doesn't. Actually I don't even know where to find a plain here. But there is plenty of rain. Today, as we drove around trying to find a parking spot close to the church building I jumped out to buy a cake from the bakery nearby. (It was for the 'Mums & Tots' program on Wednesday mornings, though I probably could have eaten the entire thing...but that's another posting subject alltogether) As I stepped out I realized I had made a bad decision. The mid calf deep water running down the street was rushing so fast that I nearly tumbled over. Denia is situated at the base of a mountain, sort of. And our church building is near by the highest point, the castle. So all the streets are on an upward/downward angle, and as I learned today, to aide in rushing the water back to the Mediterrean sea... I also learned that winter in our area consists of torrential down pours on a regular basis....but at least it's a lot cooler than before...
The ministry here is primarily geared towards British expatriates that live in the Denia area. So, being missionaries in Spain, we could 'survive' without ever really speaking Spanish a great deal. So there are various programs during the week that are only in English.
One such program is the 'Mums & Tots'. It's a group of women who drive in to have a big play
date once a week. It is a flourishing program, and I am grateful that something so similiar to my own MOPS experience already exists here! Today a new mother joined us! (Possibly to get in out of the rain, possibly to get her 14 month old to expend some excess energy. *side note: she was 4 days past her due date with her second son....) Anyways, I learned the "proper" way to make tea...and to stop asking if they wanted milk in it...yes they wanted milk, you can't drink tea without milk, and "You put honey in your tea???"....
date once a week. It is a flourishing program, and I am grateful that something so similiar to my own MOPS experience already exists here! Today a new mother joined us! (Possibly to get in out of the rain, possibly to get her 14 month old to expend some excess energy. *side note: she was 4 days past her due date with her second son....) Anyways, I learned the "proper" way to make tea...and to stop asking if they wanted milk in it...yes they wanted milk, you can't drink tea without milk, and "You put honey in your tea???"....The boys have been doing incredibly well at day care. Each day is a little less traumatic than the last. (It's only been 3 days) And this process is slightly necessary in order to prepare Bram to start school next fall, since no day care will take him after this year. Apparently the boys do even better during the day when separated, and the ladies taking care of them always stop me to 
comment on how well the boys eat....Jonas is still having some trouble during the day (off and on crying) and Bram every morning so far has asked "You're coming back, right, Mommy?" I am extremely grateful that at the end of the night the boys are so tired that they go straight to sleep!! I'll keep paying just for that alone! The employees are obviously used to working with nervous, foreign parents. They are very patient and kind, but at the same time they basically tell me to just leave in the morning. :)
comment on how well the boys eat....Jonas is still having some trouble during the day (off and on crying) and Bram every morning so far has asked "You're coming back, right, Mommy?" I am extremely grateful that at the end of the night the boys are so tired that they go straight to sleep!! I'll keep paying just for that alone! The employees are obviously used to working with nervous, foreign parents. They are very patient and kind, but at the same time they basically tell me to just leave in the morning. :) I seem to need to remind myself that there will be a bit of a learning curve with everything here. For example, cooking: I bought what I believed to be pre-cooked chicken nuggets (it said precooked and frozen on the box) to fry and eat with our Mac & Cheese from the states, only to bite into a raw piece of chicken. I think part of God's plan for our family in this situation to learn a new measure of His peace in all aspects of life (even in raw chicken). "Peace that exceeds anything we can understand" I've been thinking about what His peace really means and what it looks like. I don't think it means I am in a "hippy daze" at all times, never letting things ruffle my feathers, but I do believe that it means there's a deeper peace that is evident at all times. I was thinking this morning about our family verse and what it means that "His peace will guard your hearts and minds". What does my heart need protecting from? How does it guard my mind? I think those things are guarded by peace, in that I know that nothing can destroy them as long as I live in Christ Jesus. Things may catch me off guard (I spit the chicken back out), but they cannot tear me apart. Water can seep into our building through the roof and walls during the rain storm, and I can be upset about it, but the peace of Christ guarding my heart and mind reminds me in that moment that this conquer my peace in Christ Jesus.....anyways, I'm not even sure all of that made sense....
**I would like to take a public moment to say how excited I am to have all these new friends!!!! I write this blog, and people are actually reading it! That's a lot of pressure.....I hope I'm up to the task...
Friday, 19 September 2008
Take a number, to wait to take a number...
It has been a blur of government offices this week! We registered with town hall and then drove the hour to the "county seat" in order to apply for residency. Only to find out through much explanation later, that we will have to drive the 5 hour trip to Madrid in order to complete our residency paperwork....::sigh::....perhaps it will improve our disposition if we treat it as a mini-vacation.....
We have decided to place the boys in an "infant school" here in town. Children begin school at age 3 in our area, but I didn't feel comfortable placing Bramwell in school when he still didn't understand the language....side bar: he is learning very quickly! He has started using phrases like "muy bien" and "chau" on a very regular basis!....So we decided to place them in a situation where they would learn Spanish and be prepared for school. It will also afford us the opportunity to work in the office and dedicate time to office stuff, rather than bringing the office to the house.
While in the States, they went to daycare while we were at the office. (Only 2 days a week, it's all we could afford) And once we got home, it was dedicated family time. We rarely brought our computers home. We often did errands or visitation, but usually when we were in the house we weren't trying to get work done. Then when we were awaiting our visas in order to take up this appointment in Spain, we had no work to do, so the boys had us all to themselves. Now, since we can't take them to the office, we are always doing work here at the house, and I think they hate that we're not paying 100% attention to them (it's the best rationalization I can come up with for their behavior)... Perhaps by getting a chance for the boys to use up some energy, make new friends, and us getting the majority of our office work done at the office, it will make for better times to be had at home.
Just so this post isn't incredibly long, here's a quick update:
1. Jonas had to go to the dentist this morning. After a chase scenario over a toy involving Bram, Jonas has broken both front teeth on the rock solid floors of Spain. Good thing, it'll fix itself...in 6 to 7 years. ( Bram and I have been repeating all day: Nice with our words, nice with our hands)
2. We began our weekly nursing home visit ministry. A good portion of them speak Valenciano ( a local language that is not Spanish), so I will be learning a few choruses in a new language. The boys always have loved nursing home visits, not that they have had much choice ( I have taken them to nursing homes ever since I was pregnant.), and the people always LOVE seeing the boys and their friendly smiles.
3. We had a set of sofas that was literally falling apart. We had to cover the cushions with sheets because they were so ripped that stuffing was coming out. Well, God answered our prayers! A gentlemen was looking to get rid of a leather couch set, and agreed to let us have it for the home here!! So, now we have a blue leather sofa and 2 matching chairs!
So much to do....
We have decided to place the boys in an "infant school" here in town. Children begin school at age 3 in our area, but I didn't feel comfortable placing Bramwell in school when he still didn't understand the language....side bar: he is learning very quickly! He has started using phrases like "muy bien" and "chau" on a very regular basis!....So we decided to place them in a situation where they would learn Spanish and be prepared for school. It will also afford us the opportunity to work in the office and dedicate time to office stuff, rather than bringing the office to the house.
While in the States, they went to daycare while we were at the office. (Only 2 days a week, it's all we could afford) And once we got home, it was dedicated family time. We rarely brought our computers home. We often did errands or visitation, but usually when we were in the house we weren't trying to get work done. Then when we were awaiting our visas in order to take up this appointment in Spain, we had no work to do, so the boys had us all to themselves. Now, since we can't take them to the office, we are always doing work here at the house, and I think they hate that we're not paying 100% attention to them (it's the best rationalization I can come up with for their behavior)... Perhaps by getting a chance for the boys to use up some energy, make new friends, and us getting the majority of our office work done at the office, it will make for better times to be had at home.
Just so this post isn't incredibly long, here's a quick update:
1. Jonas had to go to the dentist this morning. After a chase scenario over a toy involving Bram, Jonas has broken both front teeth on the rock solid floors of Spain. Good thing, it'll fix itself...in 6 to 7 years. ( Bram and I have been repeating all day: Nice with our words, nice with our hands)
2. We began our weekly nursing home visit ministry. A good portion of them speak Valenciano ( a local language that is not Spanish), so I will be learning a few choruses in a new language. The boys always have loved nursing home visits, not that they have had much choice ( I have taken them to nursing homes ever since I was pregnant.), and the people always LOVE seeing the boys and their friendly smiles.
3. We had a set of sofas that was literally falling apart. We had to cover the cushions with sheets because they were so ripped that stuffing was coming out. Well, God answered our prayers! A gentlemen was looking to get rid of a leather couch set, and agreed to let us have it for the home here!! So, now we have a blue leather sofa and 2 matching chairs!
So much to do....
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