# R 540

Government offices can be very intimidating. Perhaps that's by design.

The first person you encounter, I call them the "Defense". They have all the answers and will often answer before you ask, while highlighting a paper with the address where you were supposed to go. They're usually sarcastically polite, and rather curt. They have seen 100's of people every day, most of them demanding that the rules bend for their case...I can understand.

The next step is to walk through the metal detectors and wait. All the while you are anxiously watching the scrolling numbers, waiting for your number to come across. And just as it seems the numbers are moving quickly, there's a long 'stall' 2 numbers before your own.

All too often it seems the people behind the desks are either just coming back from a coffee break or just going to leave for their coffee break. It is Spain, perhaps there is a mandated number of cafe con leche breaks?

Today, we went to renew our residency paperwork. Because of the move and chaos of life, we are in a bit of a rush because our residency cards expire next week. But God has been with us each step of this process. I reminded myself of that fact as I sat staring at the board blinking "R534". God demonstrated his power over "Pharaoh" again today. We sat at the girl's desk and she quickly processed both Jeff and my paperwork, even making a copy of something we had forgotten to include! So, it's done. We just wait for the letter to come back to record our fingerprint, and we're legal again for another 2 years.

The boys paperwork will be done on Friday in a separate office for minors.

It's funny how toddlers cope with change....

They know something is about to change. If you ask Bramwell he can even tell you we are moving to Spain. But I don't think they really get it...obviously. They've both been little maniacs for the past couple days, and we think that the schedule shift as well as the mounting stress is to blame. Jeff and I deal with the stress by getting frustrated, overwhelmed, etc. But both of us have adult ways of dealing with that stress, or at least talking about it together. The boys don't have the words...I should be more cognizant of that when coming to the brink of scolding them. I've been letting Bram watch more videos than usual, it's our dual coping mechanism I think.....any helpful tips on moving with toddlers?

The truck comes Friday. The carpet cleaners come Monday. But the biggest of my problems right now, is that we are out of coffee. Pray, just pray.

We have boxes everywhere in our living room. They are taking over every inch of space on our dining room table, couches, coffee table, and floor space. There is newprint paper in piles throughout the room. Bram is using the cardboard section of the newsprint box to color on while I pack things into boxes. Jonas just roams around pulling things off of chairs, out of boxes, all the while managing to steal crayons from his brother.

We don't own a lot that needs to be packed, but it still daunting. I have made the arrangements for the truck to pick up our things in order to be shipped and the other permanently stored while we are gone. I have scheduled the inspection of our Salvation Army owned home. I have made the plan for a company to come and clean our carpets and tile before we leave. I am exploring the options of participating in a seminar for missionary family preparation.

But I still do not know where we are moving...

It's difficult to look at your entire life, figure out how to place into a box, but have absolutely no idea where exactly it is going. The stress alone is enough to keep someone from sleeping, not to mention the emotional toll of the tension of just not knowing. Today I read through the story of Abraham and Sarai, when Abraham came home and said "We're moving. I don't know where, God said He'd lead us and that we'll know when we get there." Now I know how Sarai must have felt.

Continuing My Education

We are in Kankakee for a week long (mandatory) continuing education program through a partnership with The Salvation Army and Olivet University. It was also my 5 year review this year. I was "confirmed" as a Salvation Army officer today. Exciting, I know.

Yesterday, the corps (church) held its first children's service in nearly a decade. It was absolutely amazing! We had the highest number in our short tenure: 87!! (one girl counted 107, but nobody agreed with that number). It was exciting and overwhelming. It was so moving to see so many new faces and new kids participating and taking part in the service.

During the closing song, I came up to the pulpit to lead the song and we had chosen to make the public announcement of our moving at that point in the service. I had made my plan: I would lead 2 verses, make the announcement using the script I created in my head, then we'd sing the last two verses and it would be done. Well, we got through 2 verses, I opened my mouth, looked out into the crowd, and all I could do was cry. Jeff (my husband) had to come and rescue me from his seat in the band. He made the announcement while I quietly cried behind him. It just over came me looking out into such a large crowd (in comparison to the recent history of our church) and then to think that God was calling me on somewhere else. I love these people and this place. Let me say it again: I love Waukegan. But I know that this is what God has prepared for my family. I have felt it since seminary that I was made for the mission field, and now God has opened a door that no one can close. This is where Jesus is leading us, but still it's hard to leave a place that's become a part of us.

So now, we sit in 8 hour classes every day this week to mull over the fact that there are only 5 weeks left to pack, and we still don't know exactly where we are being sent to.......perhaps there will be more crying.

And the journey begins...

In order to move over seas within this Salvation Army there is a bit of a process. A process that we are still working through. One of those processes require informing those in your current site of ministry of the impending change, which cannot be done until the "official" go ahead.

So, I lost a lot of sleep last night trying to dream up the exact right words to say. I woke up incredibly early, with a back in pain from stress, and a brain that refused to calm down. I was incredibly nervous as I arrived at the office.

I continued to practice what I was going to say in my head as I made coffee for the staff. "No, I won't hold a big staff meeting, that will just be weird. I tell each staff member one by one. I'll just let them know before they read it on the internet."

I walked into the Community Care Ministries office, took a deep breath, and began my schpeel (official spelling). She listened quietly, nodded a couple times, and then looked at me.

"I knew already. The intern told me. And I figured it out when you said your arm hurt from a Hep A shot. Adults don't get vaccines unless they're going somewhere....like overseas."