Dis-cour-age-ment (di-skur-ij-muhnt)

I've been developing a theory (we'll call it that for now) over the past few days/weeks. I am finding that the 'enemy' uses discouragement and doubt most often as weapons against children of the Most High God. (See my beginning thoughts on this here.)

My philosophy continues to be confirmed as I talk with various people going through personal and interpersonal struggles. Someone says or does something and thus begins the "discouragement tumble". The tumble into a pit where you feel like everything is hopeless, there's no possibilities, no where to turn, no one likes you, everyone hates you, might as well go eat worms...

It's not just the "big" things that can be used in the arsenal of D & D, little things work just as well. For example: potty training relapses (just when you think you're home free...), new school struggles, passing comments meant to negatively impact a fledgling ministry, sick children, not enough sleep, a blog post that you have to redo because the computer went on strike...I could keep going... But as long as there can be a small hit, a tiny strike, an intsy wintsy bitty bit of doubt and discouragement creep in...the whole tower of dominoes will come tumbling down...

As I was looking up some Scripture to share with someone struggling with discouragement, I came across this:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27: 13 - 14

D & D are mighty weapons UNLESS you know the Truth. D & D have no power on those who will choose to wait and see the goodness of the Lord. I want to be the person who believes that I will see the goodness of the Lord no matter what happens. My weapon is hope. I have hope that tomorrow will be better.

May I be the one who chooses to not lose heart in the face of D & D.......and I will have the victory.

Thankful Thursday

Thankful Thursday! Yay! Check out the others here. Truth for the Journey I do enjoy the reminder to stop and let the "world" know what it is God has blessed us with from the little things to the great...

1. I am thankful for a great school system for Bramwell. He seems to really be enjoying himself, and as the days go by I'm sure I'll be less nervous for him. He walked into the class today and didn't even look back, yesterday they showed him a train set and I might as well have disappeared. Apparently, I'm the only one with hangups about him going to school.

2. I am thankful for all the new possibilities in our ministry. We have recently changed to having our language specific services on seperate days, rather than one meeting right after another. I am really excited about all the good things that could come from this. Of course there are moments when it's seems very lonely on the "front lines"...but we have been promised the victory!

3. I am thankful for Kinder chocolate. It's apparently a chocolate that's not really available in the States, bit it's incredibly cheap here and incredibly good!

4. I am thankful for all the Christmas cards we recieved. We have taped the cards onto the wall above our dinner table and the boys and I have been talking about how these are all the people that love our family. I still don't have the desire to take them down yet.

5. I'm thankful for the snow on the mountain. It's been rather cold the past couple of days and with the rain today there is visible snow on the mountain. It's just a beautiful reminder of an amazing Creator.

Los Reyes Magos

Two posts in one day....woohoo!

We decided to keep the boys out late and see the Denia Three Kings Day parade! The parade consists of the kings docking at port, parading down the main street, throwing candy, a procession to see Mary and Jesus, and ends with more candy from the town hall building. And tonight little Spanish children will rush home to leave out their shoes in hopes that the kings will leave them gifts overnight!

It was a lot of fun! Here's a video the pics we took:

(Music: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen & We Three Kings by Barenaked Ladies)

Serious Mommy Issues

Bramwell, my 3 year old, starts school on Wednesday. You read that right, school. Not day care, but school. When we assessed our family situation in regards to overseas ministry we never thought that we'd have to even think about school until possibly a second term (you sign up in 3 year increments).

So it was a "mad dash", well, not exactly mad dash...anyways, we spent the first couple of months trying to sort out the school situation for Bramwell. We looked into local "escuelas de infancia", basically "baby schools". They're not quite school, but they do actual lessons, etc. We thought it would be the best option in order for the boys to learn operating Spanish so they could join school. Nearly everyone I approached told me Bram was too old for their program, and they couldn't take him.

So, we tried local schools. There is a private school taught by the local Spanish Baptist church, but they have a 3-5 year waiting list. (The "Missionary Card" didn't even help bump us up...) I then opted to look into local public school, but everything is taught in the local language of Valenciano. A language I don't understand at all. So if there were to be a problem at school?? He needed help with his homework?? I couldn't even get pamphlets about their programs in Spanish (even though it's the law!)...back to square one.

So then we heard about a private Spanish school system in the next town over. They are a British run school that teaches a Spanish cirriculuum. Bram will begin there on Wednesday! He'll be taught in both Spanish and English, with Valenciano language classes in the upper grades. He goes for a full day, wears an absolutely adorable uniform (there's a tie and everything), and rides a coach bus. I'm still nervous about the bus...I can tell that the teachers at the school hear the same nervous questions from every mother, they're answers are very rehearsed...

And now, it's down to the wire, the last day and a half that I have Bramwell the majority of the day. Honestly, it's liberating in a sense, but at the same time heart wrenching. My baby boy isn't a baby anymore. He's entering the world of school....away from me....with new friends I may never know............I'm scared.......

New Year's Resolutions

We have experienced our first New Year in Spain. We watched the clock chime in Madrid, watched as people ate their "uvas de suerte" ('lucky grapes': Spainards eat a grape for each chime of the clock at midnight). It was a relatively quite night...until midnight. At the stroke of 12, some neighbors in our building began screaming, beating drums, etc. I consoled myself by believing that in a couple hours it would all stop. The music, screaming and drums did not stop until well AFTER midnight! All four of us were in our bed (not by my choice) and no one was sleeping. It made for a lovely and friendly Carr family on New Year's Day... I considered knocking on the neighbor's door at 10:00 am (when the music finally turned off) and just standing there with my howling, melt down toddlers and thanking them for the lovely party.

We did hold a New Year's Eve service...at 6 pm. We have toddlers, we don't go out after midnight.

We used Isaiah 43:18-19 as our theme:

Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

I used a video clip of the song "Seasons of Love" from "Rent". (I got lucky and found a Youtube video with Spanish subtitles!) In 2009 I have 525,600 minutes. I have 525,600 chances to see God at work. The part of the verse that struck my attention was that God implies that His new thing WILL happen, we just have to pay attention if we want to be a part of it. God is, always was, and always will be at work, it's just a matter if I'm 'perceiving the stream'. If I want to see the new thing, I just need to look for God.

We have challenged our congregation to take the next 180 days and give God a chance to "turn their life around". To take a chance to see God at work. We are participating in a 180 day Bible reading plan. I realized that in my own life I can come up with a million excuses for why I don't have enough time to do this, but I have plenty of time to facebook, blog, blog hop, Youtube video watch, etc. So, in order to remove some of those excuses, I'm creating a blog of my notes on the daily readings. I'm going to actively seek out the 'way in the desert' this year. (If you're interested in following along in my journey of 'turning it around', click here.)

So, Happy New Year! May you 'perceive the stream' in 2009!

This Is the Day

This my first time participating in So I See What You're Saying. Bram and I are very excited about being included into such a prestigious group. Plus, after cleaning the apartment I have to find a way to entertain my three year old until school starts next week.

So without any further interruptions...

The Look

As time goes by here in Spain, I have begun to become familiar with a "look". It happens in the following scenario: I'm speaking Spanish, and a strange word slips out. A word that is not quite English, and not quite Spanish, it's a word lost in limbo. And then comes the "look". I don't know what I'm trying to say, the person I'm trying to talk to doesn't know what I'm trying to say, and we're both trying to be polite and simply move on from this limbo word.

For example? Sure...

Yesterday, we were enjoying a lunch with Salvation Army officers on vacation from Barcelona. I was attempting to tell them that there is going to be a clown show on New Year's Eve in our local town square. I know the word for clowns (payasos), but for some reason I simply could not get it out. It kept mangling itself as it tried to free itself of this language limbo. At that point....I got the "look".

Now, it's not a mean look, per say. It's just a look of pity mostly. A look that conveys "I know you're trying really hard, but I simply cannot understand you." The empathy behind the look really depends on the giver. Some people are very patient and understanding, and some simply, well, aren't.

An example of someone who wasn't:

When I worked a summer in Argentina, I lived and worked with a Salvation Army family who knew absolutely no English, I knew bare bones Spanish. (It was a special treat trying to communicate with sign language). There was a moment when I was carrying on a conversation with a small group of people, and I really thought I was doing well, they were nodding their heads, smiling (should have been my first clue, I realize). I reached the end of a phrase and I was really proud of myself, I had just maintained a conversation!! When one older gentlemen looked straight at the officer (pastor) in charge and said "What is this girl trying to say?? I have no idea what she's talking about?? Can someone translate her?"

::sigh::...I would have preferred the look.